The Little Dictator

Works on YOU, the parent

You'd be mistaken to walk into this protocol thinking it's about more direction for your children. That's the trap that gets you to rescue your kid at the exact moment struggle was necessary.

Even "good" parents need this

My kids are mostly independent teens, but they can still fail at simple tasks. This is because sometimes it's easier to just do things for them, and sometimes I do things for them because I love them. But this book really opened my eyes to the fact that giving/doing for them makes me feel good but doesn't always serve them. In executing protocols, sitting still while my son struggled with his math problem was so much more difficult than I imagined it would be. I literally had to sit on my hands and concentrate on keeping my mouth closed, even though he had already told me to let him figure it out. But then he DID figure it out. And the pride on his face and feeling of satisfaction he had from doing it on his own was worth so much more than me handing him "just a clue" to help him. He has transitioned to just asking me to check his work when he is done, but only if he isn't sure he understood completely. I used to always wake my kids in the morning but have transitioned them to using alarms. One morning my daughter overslept, and I let her have only 20 min to get ready before I woke her. She hasn't forgotten to set her alarm since then. One daughter forgot her lunch one day, and instead of bringing her food, I let her go hungry, even though I physically felt uncomfortable in doing that. But now she takes more care to remember her lunch. And after failure, I am now asking, "What can you do differently next time to avoid this?" They are having to analyze and speak a solution they can execute next time. My kids' confidence in themselves in areas where they previously struggled is growing in leaps and bounds. And it's because I stepped back. And the best part is that this has strengthened my relationships with my kids. Seriously, every parent needs to read this.

The only parenting book you need

Attachment parent here ✌️. Enrolled in as many psychology classes as I could in high school by taking summer school PE and math so there would be more room in my schedule for electives during the year. Bachelor of Science in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. I could probably tell you what I learned there in 10 bullet points, worthwhile but not necessary to spend four years of learning. Stan Taylor (he, she, collective they like Shakespeare?), is fed up with all injustice in the world and is wholeheartedly embracing hope for humanity one reader at a time. Not by fixing what’s wrong, but by teaching us how to be the thing that is right. The first pages talk about encouraging your child’s ability to sit with discomfort and then all the remaining pages are you sitting with yours. Prepare to deal with mutiny in yourself and your household depending on how engrained the patterns are running amongst you (if your kids are older than 12 months, you’re in it :)) This book makes a lot of other well-intentioned books feel more like surface manipulation. Not to discredit anyone, but if you want to fix the processor its core and not prettily paint over it and give yourself a sticker, Little Dictator is the antidote.